In my first passionate sexual awakening, I made sweet sweet love to my housekeeper, Isabelle.

It sounds like a group of high school girls in Gloucester, Massachusetts have made a pact to all get pregnant and raise their babies together.  Why on Earth teenage girls would WANT to get pregnant is beyond me, but this must be a dream come true for the high school boys.

A Canadian waitress lost her job when she went into work after shaving her head for a charity called Cops for Cancer, a local fundraiser for cancer research.  The woman's friend was going through cancer, and she also lost her father to the disease--it was an issue close to her heart, and shaving her head for the charity was a no-brainer.

But then she went to work, and her boss told her to go home and not to come back.  How horrible is that?

Staying in tonight to watch Knocked Up.  I love this movie, and I'm always up for a good laugh.

I'm up so early!!!  Don't get me wrong, I'm exhausted.  I can barely keep my eyes open, and yet I can't fall back asleep.

I think I might do some reading and see if that does the trick.  Of course by the time I do fall asleep, it'll probably be time to wake up for work.  Damn!

At least this is a good book that I'm reading.

Today's a lazy day.  I've been lounging around watching a Beauty and the Geek marathon on MTV.  It's addicting!  Who knew I could get roped into a show like this?

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?

So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool.

Here's mine...

Opening Credits: Green Day--Brain Strew

Waking Up: Blink 182--The Rock Show

First Day at School: Nick Cannon--Gigolo

Falling in Love: U2--Numb (New Mix)

Fight Song: Goo Goo Dolls--January Friend

Breaking Up: Bon Jovi--Welcome To Wherever You Are

Prom: Linkin Park--What I've Done

Life's OK: Ne-Yo--Mirror

Mental Breakdown: Ryan Adams--This Is It

Driving: The Fray--Hundred

Flashback: Rent--Seasons of Love

Getting Back Together: Martina McBride--Help Me Make It Through The Night

Wedding: Kylie Minogue--Can't Get You Out Of My Head

Final Battle: Limp Bizkit--Behind Blue Eyes

Death Scene: P. Diddy--Girl I'm A Bad Boy

Funeral Song: Barenaked Ladies--These Apples

End Credits: Jennifer Lopez--Be Mine

The Heisman presentation is tonight.  I don't think I'll watch the actual presentation because it's not that exciting, but I am interested in the outcome.  I'm pulling for Hawaii quarterback Colt Brennan, even though I think Florida quarterback Tim Tebow is the favorite.  You can't argue with Brennan's statistics, he's got a great arm, and no one from Hawaii has ever won before.  You gotta give recognition.

Heading over to Northwestern tonight with a group of friends to see Jamie Kennedy.  I really do think this dude is hilarious, so I am gonna have a hella good time tonight.   I can't wait.

Brett Favre could become the all-time winningest quarterback on Sunday, if the Packers can beat the New York Giants.  With the Packers' win last Sunday, Favre tied John Elway's record for career victories by a starting quarterback with 148.

I'm glad Paris is back in jail, but I also feel a little bit bad for her, watching her sobbing in the back of the squad car.

I was looking at TMZ.com when I came across a picture of Britney Spears and youngest son Jaden James.  The whole purpose of the picture seemed to be to show that little Jaden actually does exist, because evidently he has been out of the spotlight.

My question, however, concerns the poor child on the right.  Could those shorts be any tighter?  They look like they're painted on.  Talk about a serious wedgie.

Paris Hilton turned herself into authorities last night to begin her jail sentence.

Although they had pre-screened a woman who was designated her cell mate, for the time being Hilton will be in solitary 23 out of 24 hours every day. The one hour that she's out, she's not really out. Hilton will be allowed to shower, use a phone and watch TV in a small pod adjacent to her cell.

Paris' lawyer just released a statement from Hilton: "I am ready to face the consequences of violating probation. During the past few weeks, I have had a lot of time to think and have come to realize I made some mistakes."

Hilton added, "This is an important point in my life and I need to take responsibility for my actions. In the future, I plan on taking more of an active role in the decisions I make. I want to thank my family, friends and fans for their continued support. Although I am scared, I am ready to begin my jail sentence."

Britney Spears says she "hit rock bottom," in a message posted on her Web site about the end of her marriage and her time in rehab.

"Recently, I was sent to a very humbling place called rehab. I truly hit rock bottom. Till this day I don't think that it was alcohol or depression," the 25-year-old pop star writes. "I was like a bad kid running around with ADD (attention deficit disorder)."

Spears completed a monthlong stay at a luxury Malibu rehabilitation treatment facility in March after a series of run-ins with the paparazzi that included a stop at a San Fernando Valley hair salon, where she was caught on video shearing her own locks. Other photos splashed across the Internet appeared to reveal Spears out partying wearing nothing underneath her short skirts.

She was seen going out with Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan after filing for divorce from aspiring rapper Kevin Federline last November, just two months after giving birth to their second child, Jayden James. The pair also have an older son, Sean Preston, now 20 months.

The couple reached a divorce settlement in March.

"I had a manager from a long time ago come in and try to direct me and my life after I got my divorce," writes Spears. "I was so overwhelmed I think that I was in a little shock too. I didn't know who to go to."

"I realized how much energy and love I had put into my past relationship when it was gone because I genuinely did not know what to do with myself, and it made me so sad. I confess, I was so lost," she writes.

"I think the whole problem was letting too many people into my life," she continues. "You never know another person's intentions or what another person wants. ... I have had to cut so many people out of my life."

Spears also says she is "having to face a lot of things" as she raises her two young sons. "A lot of insecurities from when I was little are coming up again," she writes. "It is like we are never good enough."

Explaining her recent behavior, she says: "I think it is actually normal for a young girl to go out after a huge divorce."

"I am going to make mistakes everyday, and I am sure every mistake I make will probably be on CNN or `Good Morning America,'" she says. "I am only human people and I love you for still loving me."

She closes by saying: "We will never really understand or figure out life completely. That's God's job. I can't wait to meet him ... or her. Love, Britney."

As you've probably heard, Lindsay Lohan was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence early Saturday morning after her convertible struck a curb, and investigators found what they believe is cocaine at the scene.  This is, of course, her third accident in two years, and since she's only 20 she definitely should not be drinking.  Her drinking problems have already landed her in rehab once, though it's evident that it did absolutely nothing for her.  I'm hoping a judge will take lead from Paris Hilton's case and through Lindsay in jail for awhile.  It's about the only option left that might do her some good.

I have a good feeling that on her last day at The View, Rosie O'Donnell is going to strangle Elisabeth Hasselbeck.  Punches may be thrown.