In my first passionate sexual awakening, I made sweet sweet love to my housekeeper, Isabelle.

In their annual look at the Drunkest Cities in America (measuring data such as death rates from alcoholic liver disease, booze-fueled car crashes, frequency of binge-drinking in the past 30 days, number of DUI arrests, and severity of DUI penalties), Men's Health has named Fresno, California as America’s Drunkest City. Hang your heads high, Fresno. Well, once you’re able to get it out from over the toilet.

The annual study has been going for almost a decade, taking a look at both alcohol consumption and the serious effects it can have on the community at large. Last year’s winner, Denver, fell all the way day down to 17. Shameful given their inherent advantage with the thinner air.

Others in the top five include Reno, Billings (Montana), Riverside (Calif.), and Austin (Tex.). Big cities faired surprisingly not drunk with New York City, Miami, and Boston all finishing amongst the 10 “least drunk” with Philadelphia just outside.

See where your city ranks; the full list in order from “most drunk” to “least drunk” is below.

1.) Fresno, CA F
2.) Reno, NV F
3.) Billings, MT F
4.) Riverside, CA F
5.) Austin, TX F
6.) St. Louis, MO F
7.) San Antonio, TX F
8.) Lubbock, TX F
9.) Tucson, AZ F
10.) Bakersfield, CA F
11.) Las Vegas, NV F
12.) Modesto, CA F
13.) Columbia, SC F
14.) Nashville, TN D-
15.) Madison, WI D-
16.) Colorado Springs, CO D-
17.) Denver, CO D-
18.) Phoenix, AZ D-
19.) Cheyenne, WY D-
20.) Sacramento, CA D-
21.) New Orleans, LA D-
22.) Toledo, OH D
23.) Aurora, CO D
24.) El Paso, TX D
25.) Corpus Christi, TX D
26.) Fargo, ND D
27.) San Diego, CA D
28.) Lexington, KY D
29.) Tampa, FL D
30.) Albuquerque, NM D
31.) Oklahoma City, OK D+
32.) Tulsa, OK D+
33.) Jacksonville, FL D+
34.) Detroit, MI D+
35.) Boise City, ID D+
36.) Kansas City, MO D+
37.) Washington, DC D+
38.) Montgomery, AL D+
39.) Omaha, NE D+
40.) Portland, OR D+
41.) Anchorage, AK D+
42.) Birmingham, AL D+
43.) Greensboro, NC C-
44.) Wichita, KS C-
45.) St. Petersburg, FL C-
46.) Burlington, VT C-
47.) Houston, TX C-
48.) Los Angeles, CA C-
49.) Charleston, WV C
50.) Orlando, FL C
51.) Spokane, WA C
52.) Lincoln, NE C
53.) Arlington, TX C
54.) Des Moines, IA C
55.) Fort Worth, TX C
56.) Providence, RI C
57.) Anaheim, CA C
58.) Milwaukee, WI C
59.) Pittsburgh, PA C
60.) Baltimore, MD C
61.) Indianapolis, IN C
62.) Louisville, KY C
63.) Raleigh, NC C
64.) Seattle, WA C+
65.) Grand Rapids, MI C+
66.) Buffalo, NY C+
67.) Wilmington, DE C+
68.) Hartford, CT C+
69.) Sioux Falls, SD C+
70.) Virginia Beach, VA C+
71.) Memphis, TN C+
72.) Cincinnati, OH C+
73.) Cleveland, OH C+
74.) Charlotte, NC C+
75.) Oakland, CA C+
76.) Little Rock, AR B-
77.) Dallas, TX B-
78.) Richmond, VA B-
79.) San Jose, CA B-
80.) Minneapolis, MN B-
81.) Jackson, MS B-
82.) Jersey City, NJ B-
83.) Columbus, OH B-
84.) Atlanta, GA B-
85.) Chicago, IL B
86.) San Francisco, CA B
87.) St. Paul, MN B
88.) Honolulu, HI B
89.) Philadelphia, PA B+
90.) Portland, ME B+
91.) Manchester, NH B+
92.) Fort Wayne, IN A-
93.) New York, NY A-
94.) Durham, NC A
95.) Newark, NH A
96.) Miami, FL A
97.) Salt Lake City, UT A
98.) Rochester, NY A+
99.) Yonkers, NY A+
100.) Boston, MA A+

On a cold night like tonight, there's only one thing to do.  Make some hot soup and hot chocolate, bundle up, and watch The Hangover.

I was quite amused by the University of Tennessee's football team, wearing black jerseys on Saturday to compliment their official orange and white school colors in celebration of Halloween.  That's the spirit, boys!

I want to eat at the Kashiwa Mystery Cafe in southern Japan.  That's right, it's a mystery cafe.  You order and pay for your food, and then you go sit down.  Waiters bring you, not  your food, but the food that the previous person in line ordered.  Surprise!  That just sounds like such a cool idea to me.  Unless of course the person in front of you ordered something absolutely disgusting.  But would a restaurant even have disgusting food?  Hopefully not.

The cafe has a few rules. Among them:

• Treat the next person. What to treat them with? It's your choice.
• No buying twice in a row.
• Please enjoy what you get, even if you hate it. (If you really, really hate it, quietly give it to another while saying, "It's my treat...")

Now I have to go to Japan.

They say that money is dirty, covered in dirt and germs.  Evidently, 90% of it also has traces of cocaine on it.

I wanted to see "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"...until I read Roger Ebert's review.  Yikes.  He rips the film apart.

"'Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen' is a horrible experience of unbearable length, briefly punctuated by three or four amusing moments. One of these involves a dog-like robot humping the leg of the heroine. Such are the meager joys. If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination."

I think I'll save my money!  I can always see it on DVD.

Thoughts?

A well-liked California teacher set out with the intention of giving her students a DVD full of classroom memories.  What they got instead was a sex tape.  The offending DVD starts with a menu screen that displays various school trips and functions. Click on one of them and “you see kids in a classroom sharing stories. They then start clapping and the video suddenly cuts to sex.” Oops!!!  As soon as the teacher became aware of the mistake, she called one family's home and had them spread the message to other families, warning them not to show the DVD to their children.

The parents all seem to be pretty understanding, and it doesn't sound like the lady will lose her job or anything.

I bet she'll triple check before she sends anything else home with the kids.

Entertainment Weekly listed these as the 25 greatest summer songs, but I think they've left out some pretty good ones.  Not exactly the list I would have picked.

25. ''DON'T GO BREAKING MY HEART'' (1976)  Elton John and Kiki Dee

24. ''(THEY LONG TO BE) CLOSE TO YOU'' (1970)  The Carpenters

23. ''CALIFORNIA LOVE'' (1996)   Tupac Shakur and Dr. Dre

22. ''EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE'' (1983)  The Police

21. ''WOULDN'T IT BE NICE'' (1966)  The Beach Boys

20. ''WIPE OUT'' (1963)  The Surfaris

19. ''CRAZY'' (2006)  Gnarls Barkley

18. ''A HARD DAY'S NIGHT'' (1964)  The Beatles

17. ''MAGGIE MAY'' (1971)  Rod Stewart

16. ''IN THE SUMMERTIME'' (1970)  Mungo Jerry

15. ''THE MESSAGE'' (1982)  Grand Master Flash & the Furious Five

14. ''I GET AROUND'' (1964)  The Beach Boys

13. ''HEY YA'' (2003)  OutKast

12. ''ROCK THE BOAT'' (1974)  The Hues Corporation

11. ''SUMMERTIME BLUES'' (1958)  Eddie Cochran

10. ''(I CAN'T GET NO) SATISFACTION'' (1965)  The Rolling Stones

9. ''HOT FUN IN THE SUMMERTIME'' (1969)  Sly & the Family Stone

8. ''BORDERLINE'' (1984)  Madonna

7. ''DANCING IN THE STREET'' (1964)  Martha and the Vandellas

6. ''LIGHT MY FIRE'' (1967)  The Doors

5. ''UNDER THE BOARDWALK'' (1964)  The Drifters

4. ''HEAT WAVE'' (1963)  Martha and the Vandellas

3. ''SCHOOL'S OUT'' (1972)  Alice Cooper

2. ''CALIFORNIA GIRLS'' (1965)  The Beach Boys

1. ''SUMMER IN THE CITY'' (1966)  The Lovin' Spoonful

I was very amused to read about Oregon's ultimate frisbee team, who is in trouble after removing their pants and underwear in the middle of the game.  One player defended the action, saying "We put on the longest shirts we had.  We have some jerseys that are pretty long."  Oh, that's good.  That's so good.

The Cleveland Cavaliers finally lost, amazing enough.  It was their first loss at home all season, but the Lakers brought them down.  Obviously it was just a matter of time, but it was neat that they were able to amass such a streak.

I'm a little surprised that the Phillies are up 2-0 on the Dodgers.  Looks like they've got a good shot at being in the World Series.

LOS ANGELES -- Former NFL running back Lawrence Phillips was sentenced Friday to 10 years in prison, two years after he was convicted of assault with a deadly weapon.

The sentencing was repeatedly delayed while Phillips fought to withdraw a guilty plea in a domestic abuse case that could have led to a stiffer sentence.

Phillips was convicted in 2006 of seven counts of assault with a deadly weapon.

The 33-year-old former Nebraska running back has been jailed since August 2005, when he drove onto a field near Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum and his car struck three boys, ages 14 and 15, and a 19-year-old man, who suffered cuts and bruises. The car narrowly missed four other people, prosecutor Todd Hicks.

Phillips was allegedly upset after losing a pickup football game to the youths and accused them of stealing some of his possessions.

Chicago lost a good one today.

"Actor/comedian Bernie Mac passed away this morning from complications due to pneumonia in a Chicago area hospital," his publicist, Danica Smith, said in a statement from Los Angeles, California.

She said no other details were available and asked that his family's privacy be respected.

The comedian suffered from sarcoidosis, an inflammatory lung disease that produces tiny lumps of cells in the body's organs, but had said the condition went into remission in 2005. He recently was hospitalized and treated for pneumonia, which his publicist said was not related to the disease.

It sounds like a group of high school girls in Gloucester, Massachusetts have made a pact to all get pregnant and raise their babies together.  Why on Earth teenage girls would WANT to get pregnant is beyond me, but this must be a dream come true for the high school boys.